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After her arrival - helping her adapt and creating a stable family


If your relationship with a woman from another country has progressed to the point where you proposed and she agreed, it is time to think about helping her to assimilate in your country. It will certainly be easier if she speaks English, but what if she doesn’t? In this case you should help her to assimilate one step at a time.

First of all, if she did not move to your country yet suggest that she attends courses of English, granted it is impossible to learn to speak English fluently in a couple of months or so, but she will at least have a notion of the basic expressions and will not get lost on a street or in a mall. It will also be very helpful if you can learn a couple of phrases in Russian, so that you can understand each other better.

After she gets in your country offer her to attend special courses for immigrants, this can help a lot, as these courses offer a wide spectrum of assimilation help from cultural studies, where people are taught the specifics of the culture of your country, of the language itself, and not the one they usually offer in the books in foreign countries, but a live one, that is actually being used.

Take her outside as much as possible, for example walks in the parks won’t cost you anything, but it will give her a perception of the habits, which are predominant in your community. You can also look up the ethnic gatherings for those, who just came to your country. There must be a Russian help group somewhere in your area. Taking her to such meeting will make her feel more comfortable and will give her a chance to meet new friends.

It’s not worth it to make her meet your friends at once, because although they will surely be intrigued and happy to see her – she will not feel herself comfortable with such a great amount of people. Instead of that you can take one step at a time and for example tell her about one of your friends, or a couple, which is your friends and then invite him or them over. Thus, she will be expecting to see them and will know what to talk about with them.

In such a way you can get her to meet all of your friends and family members and after that you can throw a welcoming party for her, where she’ll meet all of them at once. Encourage her to try to speak and tell her that no one will be upset that she’ll make a couple of mistakes, English is not her native language and we all have to start with something.


When she feels herself comfortable enough – you can let her go to the mall alone. She will get more confidence, once she realizes that she can actually interact with English speaking people, and that they understand her. Even if her trip fails and she will find herself at loss of words – tell her that it’s a start and that it will get better with time.

She will be missing home; therefore it is worth to provide her with possibility to talk to her family. Create a Skype account for her – it won’t cost you a thing, but it will be a great pleasure to her. She will find positive things to tell to her family and will feel herself better after the communication with her keen. Be attentive and caring and caring and your wife will assimilate just fine.

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